walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
