yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
