I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
