their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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