your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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