He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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