I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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