i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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