I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
