Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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