next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
