That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
