i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
