I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
