The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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