Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
