lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize