So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
