Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
