Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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