I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
