I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
