I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
