proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
