Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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