I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
