Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
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