people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
