Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
