SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize