So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
