Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
