Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
