I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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