Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
