I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
