oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
