I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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