I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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