she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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