I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Randomize
