hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize