do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so let's talk penis.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Randomize
