I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
