Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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