do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
