don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
