Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
When are your genitals available?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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