We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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