I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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