remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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