i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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