U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize