Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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