worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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