Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize