I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
