I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Still dying that you shit outside
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
