kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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