Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
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I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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