this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
