I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
