ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
