i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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