real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
